Elliot Page has described how his work on the popular 2007 film Juno 'almost killed' him ahead of his transition in 2020.
The 35-year-old Umbrella Academy actor opened up about the struggles he faced with his identity in a new interview in which he described the 'joy' he felt in now being able to recognise himself both inside and out.
"I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself," Page explained during his interview with Esquire, adding that the experience was 'indescribable'.
The actor revealed his pronouns were he/him in an announcement on social media in December 2020, though he made clear that he previously didn't believe he would ever get to a point of feeling comfortable with his body.
“When I say I couldn’t have ever imagined feeling that way, I mean that with every sense of me,” he said.
During the interview, Page said he couldn't pinpoint the worst day he had, but drew attention to the time period after Juno was released in December 2007 and the experiences he had while filming the movie.
"When Juno was blowing up—this sounds strange to people, and I get that people don’t understand," he explained.
He mimicked the reactions of the public, saying: "Oh, f**k you, you’re famous, and you have money, and you had to wear a dress, boo-hoo," but added: "I don’t not understand that reaction. But that’s mixed with: I wish people would understand that that sh*t literally did almost kill me"
Reflecting on how he felt at that time, Page continued: "I’ve had to have plenty of devil’s-advocate conversations with cis people who were like, “Well, I’m not trans and I could wear a skirt!” And it’s like, cool. Okay. Great.
"So yeah, in my early to mid-twenties, I didn’t know how to tell people how unwell I was. I would berate myself for it. I was living the life and my dreams were coming true, and all that was happening. And yet, for example, when I was shooting Inception, I could pretty much not leave whatever hotel I’d be staying in."
Page also described having struggled with food, as well as 'intense depression, anxiety [and] severe panic attacks'. The actor said he 'couldn't function', barely being able to face just one meeting in a day or make it through reading one paragraph in a script.
Following his transition, Page described the simple acts of making coffee, sitting down with a book and being able to read as 'euphoria', adding: "I know that may sound strange, but I can’t stress enough the degree of discomfort and struggle that I was experiencing that got in the way of everything. How could it not?"
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence contact Mindline Trans+ on 0300 330 5468. The line is open 8pm–midnight Mondays and Fridays and is run by trans volunteers
Topics: Elliot Page, Netflix, Film and TV, Celebrity, LGBTQ
