Topics: Music, Mental Health, Netflix, Avicii
Warning: this article contains mention of suicide which some readers may find distressing.
Avicii's final haunting journal entry before his death has resurfaced as a new Netflix documentary about his life released on December 31.
Back in 2011, the Swedish DJ - real name Tim Bergling - shot to fame with hit tracks including ‘Levels’ and albums such as True.
Seven years later, Avicii took his own life while vacationing in Oman.
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His death shocked the world, with adoring fans having hoped the star would continue to make music for many years to come.
Avicii was 28 at the time of his death, and had been battling an addiction with painkillers as well as other mental health issues.
At the height of his popularity, Avicii had an incredibly busy schedule and reportedly over six years, he had committed to doing 800 shows.
Now, a Netflix documentary sees Avicii's extraordinary rise to fame explained in his own words.
The streamer said of Avicii - I Am Tim: "This is the unlikely story of Tim Bergling, a shy and insecure boy who, without realizing it, suddenly created one of the world's most loved artists - Avicii.
"Through unique home movies and a huge private archive, we get to follow Tim on a winding journey through life - from the very first breath at the maternity ward in Stockholm in 1989 to the tragic end in Oman in 2018.
"This is a film where Tim himself is the narrator and he shares his inner self in a way we haven't heard before. Through himself and everyone close to him - family, artist colleagues and best friends - we get to know Tim - the boy behind Avicii - for the first time."
You can watch the trailer below.
The star had previously admitted he was 'a lot happier' before he was famous.
And now, a series of journal entries Avicii made in the years leading up to his death have resurfaced.
He kept a journal as he went into rehab for drug and alcohol abuse, excerpts of which were published in Måns Mosesson's book Tim — The Official Biography of Avicii.
In one entry, he explained how he found it hard to stop drinking alcohol, which he previously said he'd become 'dependent' on to help curb his anxiety.
Avicii also wrote about his recovery from acute pancreatitis, for which he was hospitalized in 2012 and 2013.
"I had a hard time accepting never drinking again though strongly suggested from all doctors to wait at least a year before even having a beer," he reportedly wrote. "Of course, I didn't listen to the majority of the doctors, I listened to the couple who said it was OK if I was careful.
"I was ignorant and naïve and touring the world, still on the never-ending tour — because once you've circled it, guess what? You start right back over again.
"Those days in hospital were the most anxiety and stress-free days I can remember the past six years, those were my true vacations, as depressing as it might sound."
Avicii had also been embracing Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's meditation practices, although he'd reportedly meditate for 'hours at a time' exceeding the recommended 20 minutes.
He wrote: "It feels like I am in a new default mode of being which is very new and a little bit scary. It felt like the fears the last couple of days caused havoc in me, but I remember the tip to focus on my breathing."
But his final ever, worrying entry read: "The shedding of the soul is the last attachment, before it restarts!"
Avicii - I'm Tim is available to stream now on Netflix.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in a mental health crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741.
