Elliot Page has reflected on how hitting puberty and seeing his body change, not having even heard the word 'transgender' before, affected his mental health.
The 36-year-old actor publicly came out as transgender in 2020 and since receiving gender affirming care, feels 'joy' living in his body, as well as a deep gratitude.
However, Page's relationship with his body hasn't always been like this and his mental health took a massive hit particularly when he was going through puberty.
Ahead of Pride month - which officially began today (1 June) - Page sat down with ABC News for a new Pride Month television special.
In the preview clip for the special titled, The Freedom to Exist with Elliot Page: A Soul of a Nation Presentation, Page opened up about the affect puberty had on his body and mental wellbeing.
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He explains: "When my body started to change, clothes sat on me differently, and all of that was just the beginning of really sort of disconnecting from myself and feeling a degree of discomfort that was very erosive and damaging."
Page also reflected on never hearing the word 'transgender' - at least probably not before he hit puberty - and how if it ever did come up it would be 'briefly in health class' accompanied by 'the sound of laughter'.
"The experiences I had in regards to bullying, it certainly only encourages the shame that literally makes you sick. The hiding, the self disgust," he continues. "'There’s something wrong with me’ - that narrative."
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The actor explains the feelings of 'incongruence and disconnect' he felt having been assigned a gender at birth based on his genitalia but it 'not being the reality of who [he] was' - gender dysphoria - continued to 'chip away' at him.
Being an actor added to his gender dysphoria, with Page explaining: "I think it especially became complicated as an actor because people would just go, 'You’re an actor just put the f**king clothes on.'"
However, the 36-year-old resolves: "Needless to say, it was so much more than that."
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The ABC News special is currently set to air on 6 June, the same date Page's first memoir is also set for release.
In a post about the memoir - which is titled, Pageboy - on Instagram, Page wrote: "Writing a book has come up a few times over the years, but it never felt right and quite frankly, it didn’t feel possible. I could barely sit still, let alone focus long enough to complete such a task. At last, I can be with myself, in this body. So, I’ve written a book about my story. [...]
"I'm so excited to share its cover with you now. At many points in my life, it felt unbearable to be in front of a camera, but making this cover with acclaimed photographer Catherine Opie (@csopie) was a joyful experience that I will never forget."
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence contact Mindline Trans+ on 0300 330 5468. The line is open 8pm–midnight Mondays and Fridays and is run by trans volunteers
Topics: Celebrity, Elliot Page, Film and TV, Health, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Transgender
Poppy Bilderbeck