A man believed his ex-partner was a terrorist who had hired a hitman after suffering from a psychotic breakdown.
Martin Waddilove, 38, saw his mental health spiral last year following a break-up with his partner, with his condition being so severe he had to be sectioned under the mental health act.
The dad-of-three, from Essex in the UK, told UNILAD: “I've had bi-polar for 20 years and I’ve managed it - I've had my ups and my downs but I’ve managed it. It wasn’t until last September, I was hospitalized. I went through a psychotic episode after a bad break-up.
“It was a number of things, it was the breakup, money problems, I was arguing with my mum. I wasn’t very well. All sorts of things were going through my head.”
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Martin also missed his medication for three days due to a shortage of the drugs he needed in his local area.
Opening up about his experiences, he went on: “To me, It felt 100 percent real. I genuinely had it in my head, that my ex-partner had hired a hitman to kill me, that’s how bad I was. I thought she had hacked my emails. I thought she was going to kill my son. I thought my phone had been overtaken. I wasn’t sleeping at night.”
“I genuinely thought my work phone was a bomb - I took it outside into the middle of the road. My mum went to pick the phone up and I was screaming at her not to because I thought it was going to explode.”
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His erratic and unsafe behaviour eventually led to him being admitted to a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) at St Andrew’s, Essex.
Martin says he struggles to remember those first early days in the hospital, but does have ‘flashbacks’.
“I don’t remember all of it, if I’m being honest. But when I went to St Andrew’s they said I was so confused and paranoid.”
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To begin with, things were a bit rocky for Martin, he said: "I was very aggressive, and that's not me."
But as time went on - and his medication was amended - he began to calm down.
He went on: “I got on really well with the staff there - they started calling me their ‘golden boy’.
“I was opening up to them and the patients as well. I had a little group in there and I got really close to some of the other patients and I just found myself talking to people, keeping my mind off things.”
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After three months at the hospital, and undergoing intensive therapy as well as changes to his medication, Martin was released - just in time to spend Christmas with his kids.
Martin believes it was his kids, as well his strong network of family and friends, that helped him get back on his feet.
He said: “I’ve got keyrings with photos of my children and my family and I would look at those and think, ‘I need to get back out there, not just for my sake but for theirs as well’. That kept me going - knowing that I would get out there.”
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He has now decided to speak out about what he went through in the hopes of encouraging others to be more open about their own mental health struggles - he’s also signed up to work as a volunteer at St Andrew’s.
"I just want to help people,” he added. “And I know I can relate to what they're going through and what they've been through. If I could help just one person get through their recovery I'd be so happy."
Topics: Mental Health, UK News
Claire Reid