We asked AI to write a Christmas movie and it was absolutely s**t

It's guaranteed at this point: each Christmas, there will be a new festive flick designed to bring you comfort and joy.

There will be the occasional standout movie, like Home Alone, Elf and The Santa Claus, but a lot of the time Christmas films are all pretty predictable as they recycle age-old formulas with new characters and settings.

That's not to say they're not still very heartwarming, but you can't really expect them to win any awards.

Armed with that knowledge, we decided to see whether AI would be able to come up with a pitch for a brand new Christmas film. The technology draws on what already exists online for its knowledge, but maybe it could surprise us?

I asked ChatGPT to write me a pitch, and was pleasantly surprised when it cast some pretty big names in the starring roles.

With Rachel McAdams in character as the charming Emily Harper, and Chris Pratt embodying male lead Jake Anderson, could 'Christmas in Evergreen Pines' be the new Elf?!

The answer, unfortunately, is no. Absolutely not.

What AI produced was, unfortunately, sh*t, with very little originality going on.

I could sum it up with the words 'big-city woman moves to small town and falls in love', but if you're really interested to know what happens between Emily and Jake, then stick with me.

Pixabay

As the title suggests, the film takes place in the 'enchanting town' of Evergreen Pines.

There, we find Emily, 'a talented but disillusioned pastry chef from the bustling city'. Given that she's talented, it seems strange that Emily would give up baking, but she apparently decides to drop everything after inheriting her grandmother's 'charming bed and breakfast'.

Needless to say, Emily finds more than just a comfy bed at the B&B.

The AI-generated synopsis reads: "As Emily settles into her grandmother's cozy inn, she discovers a hidden box of old love letters and ornaments that once adorned the town's majestic Christmas tree.

"Determined to revive the tradition, Emily enlists the help of the handsome local handyman, Jake Anderson, and together they embark on a heartwarming journey to restore the town's festive spirit.

"As they work side by side, Emily and Jake uncover the power of love, community, and the true meaning of Christmas. Along the way, they find themselves falling for each other, proving that sometimes the most unexpected gifts are the ones wrapped in love."

Pixabay

Anyone else stifling a yawn?

Also, I have so many unanswered questions. Why did locals stop decorating the tree? Surely other people had ornaments they could use instead of the ones from the B&B?

Also, who did the love letters belong to? Do they have anything to do with the story?

I'm not sure even McAdams or Pratt would be enough to save Christmas in Evergreen Pines, nor would Hallmark regular Lacey Chabert, cast by ChatGPT as 'Emily's best friend from the city', or James Brolin as 'the wise and lovable town elder who shares the history of the Christmas traditions'.

Whether these actors would actually want to take on the role is another question entirely, but it's one we'll never know the answer to because this film will never make it to our screens - big or small.

All that to say, let's not get rid of human screenwriters any time soon.