• News
  • Film and TV
  • Music
  • Tech
  • Features
  • Celebrity
  • Politics
  • Weird
  • Community
  • Advertise
  • Terms
  • Privacy & Cookies
  • LADbible Group
  • LADbible
  • SPORTbible
  • GAMINGbible
  • Tyla
  • UNILAD Tech
  • FOODbible
  • License Our Content
  • About Us & Contact
  • Jobs
  • Latest
  • Topics A-Z
  • Authors
Facebook
Instagram
X
Threads
TikTok
YouTube
Submit Your Content
Woman who ripped out her own eyes explains how her ‘mind will not accept not seeing’

Home> News> Health

Published 11:26 11 Dec 2024 GMT

Woman who ripped out her own eyes explains how her ‘mind will not accept not seeing’

Kaylee Muthart gouged out her own eyeballs while hallucinating on drugs

Lucy Devine

Lucy Devine

Warning: This article contains graphic descriptions which some readers may find distressing.

A woman who gouged out her own eyeballs while hallucinating on drugs has spoken about how she's adapted to life without her vision.

Kaylee Muthart, from Anderson, South Carolina, was just 20 years old when the tragic incident occurred.

She had recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had been using drugs including marijuana and ecstasy, which caused her to have intense hallucinations.

Advert

Kaylee Muthart ripped her eyes out during a hallucination (Kaylee Muthart)
Kaylee Muthart ripped her eyes out during a hallucination (Kaylee Muthart)

"While on ecstasy, I studied the Bible. I misinterpreted a lot of it. I convinced myself that meth would bring me even closer to God," she told Cosmopolitan.

After Thanksgiving 2017, Kaylee's addiction became even more intense, despite trying to stop her habits 'two or three times'.

Eventually, Kaylee agreed to go to rehab, but an incident before she arrived led to her ripping her own eyes out.

Advert

After being high from a session the night before, Kaylee feared 'everyone would die, if I didn’t tear out my eyes immediately'.

She told the Daily Star: "I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me. I thought everything would end abruptly and everyone would die if I didn't tear out my eyes immediately.

"I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket. It felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do. Because I could no longer see, I don't know if there was blood. But I know the drugs numbed the pain."

She was just 20 years old when the tragic incident occurred (YouTube/What's Trending)
She was just 20 years old when the tragic incident occurred (YouTube/What's Trending)

Advert

Once at the hospital, medical professionals performed emergency surgery to remove what was left of her eyes.

Kaylee has since spoken about how she has adapted to life without her vision, explaining that her mind 'will not accept not seeing'.

"When I open the window or crack the window for my cat in the morning, I wonder what it looks like out there. So when I open the window and stuff I think maybe God will help me see everything I have missed one day," she said.

"I would like to see my loved ones get older, see what colour my cat is, I got him after I went blind. It's like, imagine someone explaining to you what a character on a TV show looked like. They could tell you all the different attributes but until you look at them you will never know, you just won't.

Advert

"Because I have seen before, my mind will not accept not seeing. They are called visual hallucinations and I kind of think of that as God not letting me be in the darkness.

"Even when you are blind it is not dark. I visualise like silhouettes of what I think is there. If I reach for it and it is incorrect it will change like that."

Kaylee has explained how she's adapted without her vision (Kaylee Muthart)
Kaylee has explained how she's adapted without her vision (Kaylee Muthart)

Kaylee underwent surgery three years ago where she had prosthetic eyes fitted to match her original eyes.

Advert

If you want friendly, confidential advice about drugs, you can call American Addiction Centers on (888) 830-7624 24 hours, seven days a week, or contact them through their website.

Featured Image Credit: Kaylee Muthart

Topics: Health, Mental Health, Drugs

Lucy Devine
Lucy Devine

Advert

Advert

Advert

Choose your content:

10 mins ago
an hour ago
  • Olivia Wong/Getty Images
    10 mins ago

    Jamie Lee Curtis weighs in on Jimmy Kimmel controversy following Charlie Kirk comments

    Jimmy Kimmel Live! has been 'indefinitely' suspended by ABC affiliate group Sinclair

    Celebrity
  • Riverside County Sheriff's Office
    an hour ago

    Everything we know about Celeste Rivas as police give update on decomposing body found in singer's Tesla

    The decomposed body was identified as Celeste Rivas

    News
  • Getty Images
    an hour ago

    McDonald's launches 50 cent Double Cheeseburgers but you'll have to move fast

    The iconic menu favorite is available at a special discounted price - but only for a limited time

    News
  • Getty Images/IAN VOGLER
    an hour ago

    Trump's bold 4-word comment to Kate Middleton during state visit with wife revealed

    The president wasted no time to gush over the Princess of Wales

    News
  • Brother of suspected Ukrainian refugee killer explains how authorities could have prevented horrific attack
  • Husband of woman who killed their three children explains why he doesn’t blame her
  • Woman claims she ‘cured her bipolar disorder’ by transplanting partner’s poop inside of her
  • Woman found dead after not being seen in three years had heartbreaking items left in her apartment