Featured Image Credit: Ellen Beukema
Topics: Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Netherlands
Poppy Bilderbeck
Topics: Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Netherlands
Warning: This article contains discussion of eating disorders, mental health conditions and details surrounding suicide which some readers may find distressing.
The parents of a 33-year-old woman who chose to end her life by assisted dying have explained why they're 'at peace with it'.
On December 10, 2021, Esther Beukema was administered an injection while lying in her childhood bed with her mom, dad and brother sat around her. Around five minutes later, she had passed away.
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Esther lived in the Netherlands where it's permitted for people to decide to end their lives with euthanasia due to mental illness.
The Dutch Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide (Review Procedures) Act of 2002 states someone can be permitted euthanasia for psychiatric as well as physical illnesses if there is 'no reasonable alternative' and the patient's suffering is 'unbearable with no prospect of improvement'.
Esther had been adamant she no longer wanted to be alive for over a decade as a result of her experiences with anorexia.
While her mom, Ellen, was supportive of her daughter's desire for euthanasia from early on given Esther had attempted suicide multiple times before, Esther's dad, Rob, took a while to come round to understanding his daughter's decision.
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And the pair have since opened up about what it was like to make 'peace' with their daughter's choice.
In an interview with The Telegraph, Rob explained he 'tried to show Esther a little bit of blue sky' and that there's 'always hope'.
However, Esther remained set on the decision and Rob ultimately came to and understanding, with both parents 'at peace' when the time came.
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Ellen reflected: "She didn’t have to die alone, she was with the people she loved. And that is what you want for everyone."
Esther had struggled with anorexia since her adolescence, and was later told she had symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
After a first application for euthanasia was rejected, Esther applied again after turning 30.
Her application was accepted and she moved back in with her family to spend time with them and to enjoy what was left of life, as well as planning her own funeral.
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Rob said he knew her death was peaceful, saying: "I saw her face. No anger. Very happy."
Ellen added: "We are at peace with it, I think. For us, I think it’s the feeling that there is a life before, and a life after. It’s not that the life after is very bad, but you have to discover how to start again.
"You have to learn to see the good things and to enjoy them."
If you or someone you know is struggling or in a mental health crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741.
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If you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Helpline is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.