Psychologist reveals unexpected reason why men date women who look like exes
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Britt Jones
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships
There has been an online joke for decades about men who start to adopt the look of their partners, but what about those who instead choose to date people who look like their last girlfriend?
Well, apparently there’s a psychology to it.
Instead of talking about how Brad Pitt ends up looking like each of his girlfriends (seriously, every single one of them), we’re here today to bring up an even more bizarre phenomena: Men who only date a certain archetype of women.
This comes after former soccer player, Jermaine Jenas, was revealed to have moved on after his marriage to Ellie Penfold ended.
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Penfold, who was with the midfielder for 16 years, called off their relationship just last year.
Now, he’s dating her look-alike.
Having stepped out with Parisian high-end estate agent, Anne Leplaideur, it’s hard not to see the resemblance.
Both have caramel tans, brown eyes, chocolate hair, and clearly the same features.
So, what is the deal?
Psychologist Phil Macleod has dished on the reason behind it.
He told the Daily Mail that 'it's all about subconscious’ needs.
He explained that for men dating women who look like former spouses, it’s ‘familiarity-seeking, driven by several psychological factors’.
According to Macleod, it’s ‘mainly the imprint of an ideal match formed through past positive experiences.’
“In love, people often seek versions of the same type of person. This is why you sometimes see patterns in people's relationships,” he explained.
Pointing to other notable examples like Lewis Hamilton now dating Kim Kardashian after his historic relationship with Nicole Scherzinger, and Kanye West dating Bianca Censori after his divorce from Kardashian.
To this, he shared it’s all part of the ‘attachment theory’, which Simply Psychology describes as being a ‘framework’ related to forming emotional relationships with key people.
The expert explained that these bonds include a point where the ‘brain and nervous system become associated with familiar emotional patterns, traits, and dynamics,' which feel safe.
He said: “These associations can come from their initial caregiver(s) or previous relationships, family dynamics, repeated positive reinforcement, or even unresolved emotional experiences.
‘In psychology, this can create what's often called a ‘relationship template’ or a ‘love map’, where the subconscious mind uses past emotional imprinting as a future reference for attraction. That's essentially where the idea of someone having a certain ‘type’ comes from.”
This leads to people seeking out those feelings, even if unaware of it.
In some cases, it might be the way someone looks.