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How controversial '37 percent rule' could help you fall in love but not everyone is convinced

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Published 17:31 30 Jan 2025 GMT

How controversial '37 percent rule' could help you fall in love but not everyone is convinced

Would you put your trust in the math?

Ellie Kemp

Ellie Kemp

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Images/Tom Werner

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life

Ellie Kemp
Ellie Kemp

Ellie joined UNILAD in 2024, specialising in SEO and trending content. She moved from Reach PLC where she worked as a senior journalist at the UK’s largest regional news title, the Manchester Evening News. She also covered TV and entertainment for national brands including the Mirror, Star and Express. In her spare time, Ellie enjoys watching true crime documentaries and curating the perfect Spotify playlist.

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Dating is a numbers game, as the old saying goes... But if a formula could up your chances of finding 'the one', would you try it?

One mathematical solution from 1989 might just help you secure your most compatible partner.

Just in time, too; with Valentine's Day around the corner, we'll soon have relationships shoved in our faces at every turn.

The method might sound a bit ruthless, yet it yields just over a one in three - or 38.42 percent - chance of you picking your perfect match.

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This is assuming you're destined to meet 20 potential suitors in your lifetime, Hannah Fry, Professor of the Public Understanding of Mathematics at University of Cambridge, writes in her 2015 book The Mathematics of Love: Patterns, Proofs, and the Search for the Ultimate Equation.

That might not sound like a high probability, but your chances could be a slim as just five percent if you were to settle down 'randomly.'

The method could revolutionize the way you date... (Daniel Lozano Gonzalez/Getty Images)
The method could revolutionize the way you date... (Daniel Lozano Gonzalez/Getty Images)

What is the 37 percent rule?

The 37 percent rule is a solution to the so-called 'secretary problem,' which seeks to maximise the chances of hiring the best employee.

Using actual math which I'm not bright enough to explain, Thomas S Ferguson found 'it is approximately optimal to wait until about 37% of the applicants have been interviewed and then to select the next relatively best one.'

So, it's a trick of random sampling, and it assumes a normal distribution.

In the world of employment - and dating - most people are average, and there are relatively few outstanding (and terrible) candidates.

But by interviewing, or dating, 37 percent, you gain experience and build a pattern.

Most importantly, though, you commit to nothing.

Then, you choose the next option that's better than everything you’ve seen before - and there's a one in three chance they're the best possible match for you.

So, based on meeting 20 people in your lifetime, you'd have to reject the first 7.4 people that come along in hopes of finding better.

'It's not you, it's the math' is the break-up excuse I didn't know I needed (Manu Vega/Getty Images)
'It's not you, it's the math' is the break-up excuse I didn't know I needed (Manu Vega/Getty Images)

What's wrong with the 37 percent rule?

There's plenty of nuance when applying the 37 percent rule to real life, particularly to something as unpredictable as dating.

Firstly, as one Reddit user pointed out, it assumes every single person you've dated would be down for a serious relationship and that simply might not be the case. We've all been there... right?

And unlike the hiring process, where the job advert closes and the total number of interviewees is determined, you don't actually know when you've met 37 percent of your potential love interests.

Even if you based it on Fry's estimate of 20 people, what if you're fated to meet more - or less?

Plus, as Fry warns, you still run the risk of rejecting your perfect partner if you crossed paths early on, all in the name of math.

You, settling for your '15 percent' man instead of your 1 percent, maybe (Daniel Lozano Gonzalez/Getty Images)
You, settling for your '15 percent' man instead of your 1 percent, maybe (Daniel Lozano Gonzalez/Getty Images)

What if you lower your standards?

The 37 percent rule assumes you're looking for the utmost compatibility, but what if you set your sights lower?

As I've learnt over the past two and a half years, lowering your standards doesn't always serve you well...

But if you widen your pool and go for someone in your top 15 percent of potential matches instead, it might be a little more manageable; you'd only need to reject the first 19 percent who come along.

That's only 3.8 people as opposed to 7.4... This gives an almost four-in-five chance of success, as per IFLScience.

Now, to deal with the existential crisis this has all brought on...

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