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Scientists share the key signs that indicate you're in a relationship with a narcissist

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Published 19:34 20 Feb 2025 GMT

Scientists share the key signs that indicate you're in a relationship with a narcissist

You might want to double check you aren't dating one

Gerrard Kaonga

Gerrard Kaonga

Getting a relationship to work can be tough but it might prove even harder if you are actually dating a textbook narcissist.

People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance which, as you can imagine, often doesn’t gel with the people they interact with.

In fact, have a think, you can likely think of at least one person you have come across in life that seems to fit the bill for this description.

And if you haven’t, well count your blessings because it can seemingly be a lot to deal with.

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A new recent study has shed more light on the condition which is helpful to anyone who might think they're in a relationship with one.

Narcissists are often excluded more often than others without similar traits (Getty Stock Image)
Narcissists are often excluded more often than others without similar traits (Getty Stock Image)

What are traits of a narcissist did the study reveal?

The study found that ‘grandiose narcissists’ are more likely to feel ostracized. But as well as this, they are more likely to be excluded than those with less egocentric personalities.

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The study, that was published February 20 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and examined 77,000 participants to identify why narcissists experience higher levels of exclusion.

Lead author Christiane Büttner, from the University of Basel explained the findings of the study, she said: “Feeling ostracized is a subjective experience based on the perception of social cues by the individual.

“Some may be intentionally ostracized, while others may merely believe they are being excluded when that’s not the case.

“Our findings suggest that individuals with higher levels of narcissism are more sensitive to exclusion cues, leading them to perceive ostracism more frequently.”

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As well as this, narcissists can display attributes that put other people off, including aggression and arrogance.

LA based licensed clinic psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula regularly treats people with narcissistic personality disorder and has also highlighted some of their most common traits and behaviors.

Narcissists consider themselves excluded when they aren't(Getty Stock Image)
Narcissists consider themselves excluded when they aren't(Getty Stock Image)

She said: “There’s a very thin-skinned quality to narcissistic people, so if they even get a whiff that they are being left out, they’re going to be acutely aware of that.

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“It’s picking up a glance or not liking a social media post.”

What to do if you're dating a narcissist?

Durvasula also offered advice if a person is in a relationship with a narcissistic.

She said a person should employ the strategy of disengagement, intentionally withdrawing contact or interactions. While this may be perceived as exclusion from the narcissists, this may be necessary for the benefits of your own mental health.

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However, when there are instances where you must engage with them, she advised that it could be beneficial to simply be polite in their presence without over-performing or sacrificing your own well-being.

Thankfully, being a narcissist isn't the end of the world and if signs are spotted in young people it can be proactively addressed. For those who are adults, experts have noted that therapy can be a great way to address the other psychological issues that may have contributed to the condition.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Mental Health, Community

Gerrard Kaonga
Gerrard Kaonga

Gerrard is a Journalist at UNILAD and has dived headfirst into covering everything from breaking global stories to trending entertainment news. He has a bachelors in English Literature from Brunel University and has written across a number of different national and international publications. Most notably the Financial Times, Daily Express, Evening Standard and Newsweek.

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