Featured Image Credit: Getty stock images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Science, TikTok
Ella Scott
Whether you’re in a committed, long-term relationship or are pursuing a potential spark, you may have questioned at one point whether you and your significant other are getting enough sex.
Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to getting intimate as needs, wants and desires fluctuate from couple to couple.
And lucky duos whose work schedules align are probably more likely to spend time in bed together.
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However, others are happy to gain intimacy in different ways such as;‘outercourse, cooking up a storm in the kitchen or even just spending time relaxing together.
Every relationship is unique - but it would still be good to know whether you’re having more or less sex than the average person, right?
Well, sex therapists and scientists have landed on an average amount of intimate time you should partake in annually.
In 2022, a TikToker went viral after revealing the magic number, which left both him and his followers reeling at the daunting prospect of catching up.
Taking to social media, Daniel Schaal, AKA, @thatschaalfolks, said to the camera: “The average person has sex 54 times a year or so, looks like the next few days are gonna be pretty crazy for me."
After hearing the annual stat, viewers flocked to the comments section to have their say on the matter.
"I did it 54 times between January and February so I could relax from March to December,” joked one TikTok user.
"Well someone here must be doing it 54 extra times to make up for me,” typed another.
While someone else commented: “Well I’ll certainly be below average on yet another thing.”
“I’m 45 times behind lol,” said a fourth viewer.
In 2017, a study appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior that found the average adult has sex around once per week.
Furthermore, the results showed that this amount was down by around nine times per year when compared to another study conducted in the 1990s.
According to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York City-based clinical psychologist, sexual intimacy is essential for relationships to thrive.
Speaking to NBC News, they said: “Closeness and connection is a human need.
“When in a long-term relationship it's important to reconnect through sex. The brain chemicals released during sex further enhance bonding.”
As we mentioned, many couples consciously elect to prioritise other moments with their partners over sex.
But if you want to take your annual sex count up and beyond the average 54 times?
Well, there are three easy ways to rekindle your fire.
If you’re frustrated with the lack of sex you are your partner are having, then one of the best remedies is to voice your angst.
By simply chatting through things with your partner, you can establish the fact that you want to have a healthier sex life and thus come up with a plan of action together.
This could be anything from ditching your morning spin class in favor of getting intimate or setting aside a night a week for a romantic evening date.
If simply vowing to have more sex isn’t working, then maybe book in with a sex therapist to work through underlying issues.
These registered counselors will help you and your significant other to identify and hopefully solve intimacy issues.
According to sex expert, Phil Stutz, you need to ‘create space for your Shadow’ if you want to be more intimate with your partner.
Theorised by psychiatrist Carl Jung, the 'Shadow' is part of the unconscious mind and is thought to ‘hold all the things about ourselves that we repress, whether because they are evil, socially unacceptable, harmful to others, or detrimental to our own health'.
This could be where you harbor feelings of embarrassment about sex, thus stopping you and your partner from doing the deed.
“If you want to have a good sex life, no matter how long you’ve been together, you need to nurture and create a space for the Shadow; you need to let yourself be vulnerable and bring it into the bedroom with your partner, says Stutz.
“Ironically, even though you’re embarrassed of it, the Shadow is the part of you that can have passionate sex, get close and be intimate with someone.”