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Topics: News, World News, Sex and Relationships
Kit Roberts
Topics: News, World News, Sex and Relationships
There are many things to watch out for when you're dating people, particularly if you are just starting out.
While some practices are absolutely red flags for a potentially bad partner, such as love bombing, others could be a sign that the person doesn't want a relationship.
You could be forgiven for being rather confused by all the different terminology out there.
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Most of us will be familiar with the term ghosting, where you don't bother formally breaking things off but just stop replying to someone's messages.
Many of us will sadly have been on the receiving end of it, and some of us will also have been the ones doing the ghosting.
There's also 'breadcrumbing', or in the old-fashioned term 'leading someone on', but there's now another term which is even more specific.
Lucky for you I, the Aristotle guiding your Dante through the nine swipes of hell, am here to explain.
The term is called 'pocketing' and is definitely something to watch out for.
Unlike other terms, this one arises once you are past the swiping and the awkward first meets and find yourself in that weird pre-relationship status.
You know the one, more than just a fling but not dating or a relationship yet - a situationship.
At this point you might want to start taking things further with your new squeeze, but you find that despite your attempts to introduce them to your friends or family they always seem to have an excuse.
And while you might be posting pictures of them to your Instagram story, you've noticed that you are as absent from their social media pages as a general who upset Stalin.
If this happens, then opposite congratulations, you are being 'pocketed'.
This is where someone is unwilling to introduce a new partner to friends or family, keeping them at arm's length.
But of course they're still more than happy to stay over at yours after dinner.
There are many reasons why someone might do this, and to be fair some of them are not unreasonable.
Someone might be struggling with commitment issues, or be bad at communicating.
They could just not want something more serious, or not be feeling it anymore.
But regardless of the reason, the best solution is clear and honest communication about what you both want.
If you do think someone is doing this, you could speak to them about what they want out of the new relationship.
If they want to take it further, great! And if not then at least you're not being strung along.