The first few months of a relationship are quite difficult, and certain telltale signs could reveal whether you are wasting your time with your new significant other or not.
While it’s easy to determine the things you like about a new fling, the red flags and issues might be harder to identify at first. So, to ensure you aren’t spending a prolonged period of time with someone who isn’t in it for the long haul, there are certain things you should be looking for.
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One of these things that you should be on the lookout for, according to one dating expert, seems pretty obvious but can go unnoticed if you aren’t thinking about it.
According to Jack Maddox, a dating expert from Australia, if you are a woman dating a man, you should be on the lookout for how long it takes him to say ‘I love you’ directly to you.
“If your partner doesn't say very clearly 'I love you' by twelve weeks, then he's not your ideal partner and you've wasted your time,” Maddox explained, “Twelve weeks, not 52, twelve weeks, three months - that's all you've got.”
Maddox goes on to note that those three words are key in a relationship, and most men and women would agree. While nobody wants to say ‘I love you’ too soon – a situation that was notoriously dissected in the pilot of the show How I Met Your Mother – taking too long to say it could be a sign that a man is hesitant to invest in a long-term relationship.
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This theory was, unsurprisingly, met with mixed reactions, with some people saying three months could be too soon to say ‘I love you’ to one’s partner.
“That's way too soon. You're tripping,” said one commenter.
Another naysayer brought up the aforementioned issues with it being said too early: “My ex-boyfriend said I love you after a week, I wish I ran then.”
“Love bomber at its finest.”
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However, others believed that Maddox was onto something, as identifying those feelings, according to them, shouldn’t take much more than three months.
One commenter who agreed with Maddox explained: “When you're ready, ladies, ask those hard questions and know what you want, don't settle… Trust me, you will know in less than 12 weeks.”
Another noted: “You should not need that long to feel love feelings or you're very damaged, if so, stop dating and work on yourself.”
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While no two people are the same and things like saying the words ‘I love you’ might take some people longer than others, making three months the rough estimate of time you should spend testing the waters with someone before taking the next step seems like a popular idea.
“Yep the 90-day rule!” another commenter added, “After that, you're wasting your time.”
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Australia
Dylan Murray