Featured Image Credit: ITV/ This Morning
Topics: Parenting, Sex and Relationships, Mental Health, Community, ITV
Poppy Bilderbeck
Topics: Parenting, Sex and Relationships, Mental Health, Community, ITV
A sex therapist has opened up about what being a sex surrogate entails and what her parents thought when she first told her about the job and how it's seen her sleep with over 400 men.
You've heard of a surrogate when it comes to pregnancy but what about sex?
Well, Kaly Miller is a sex therapist but also a 'sex surrogate,' who helps her clients' relationships with sex through verbal discussions about intimacy and about their mental wellbeing, but also even sleeping with them too.
During an interview with ITV's This Morning, Miller explained: "I am a mirror to you. I'm not a teacher. I'm not a guru. I'm not going to do anything for you. The whole work is done through me. But you do that work and I just model what intimacy is."
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Miller used to work as a remedial sports massage therapist, but after reflecting more on her studies of psychosexuality, she realized she wanted to know more about her 'understanding of her own humanity' and after spotting a newspaper ad for 'open-minded body workers,' she switched careers.
And she's opened up about how her partner at the time, alongside parents and children viewed her career change.
During the interview on the show, Miller explained her kids were actually 'at home watching'.
"I've just received a message: 'Oh my God, are you freaking out? Because we are.'" she added.
The sex therapist explained her kids and her parents are her 'number one fans' and 'certainly' her dad.
"He's like, 'Hey, this is my girl,'" she continued.
And her mom's reaction was even more surprising, Miller revealing her mom turned around to question: 'I think I would be a really good surrogate partner, wouldn't I?' and Miller agreed.
The therapist explained she was in a partnership when she first became a sex surrogate and her waking up at 6am to start her 'personal practice' resulted in her partner not 'question[ing]' what she was doing, because 'they were in it with' her.
"My journey is their journey," she added. "And if anyone wanted to have any sort of connection with me, there is no me without this work."
Miller's work has ultimately helped multiple people form better relationships with sexual intimacy.
She reflected: "I have this myriad of memories of magical, magical moments, moments which will never be forgotten. I know everything about them and I know the outcome. Many, many are married. They have children.
"Or they're going through the same things we're going through. You know, 'Oh my God this is so complicated, I'm dating and I don't know what I'm doing'. And neither do I. Neither do we."