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Relationship expert claims the 'right partner' will check these three boxes

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Updated 15:27 7 Feb 2026 GMTPublished 14:58 7 Feb 2026 GMT

Relationship expert claims the 'right partner' will check these three boxes

Finding the right person can take a very long time, but these three signs are all big green flags according to one expert

Kit Roberts

Kit Roberts

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Images/Halfpoint Images

Topics: News, US News, Sex and Relationships, Tinder

Kit Roberts
Kit Roberts

Kit joined UNILAD in 2023 as a community journalist. They have previously worked for StokeonTrentLive, the Daily Mirror, and the Daily Star.

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A relationship expert has shared some good things to watch out for when searching for the right person.

We hear a lot about 'red flags' when trying to meet that special someone, and not without good reason, as let's face it, dating is rough.

While looking for problems is very important, including for safety, it's also important to know what good things to look for.

With that in mind, relationship expert Dr Julie Gottman outlined three green flags that the 'right partner' would ideally have.

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Speaking to Steve Bartlett on his podcast Diary of a CEO, she, along with her husband and fellow expert, Dr John Gottman, explained what decades of working with people on their relationships have taught her to look for in a prospective partner when dating.

These might seem basic, but let's face it, it's the trenches out there.

Sometimes things just don't go to plan (Jamie Grill/Getty)
Sometimes things just don't go to plan (Jamie Grill/Getty)

The first one she highlighted is whether someone only talks about themselves or whether they're an active listener who is actually interested in what you have to say and who you are.

She said: “Do they tell you only about themselves, or are they asking questions about you as well?”

So if someone rambles on about themselves for the whole date, then this may not be the right fit. Next up is looking at how they interact with the people around them.

More specifically, how does someone treat servers and bartenders? If someone is polite and respectful to service staff, then that's a big tick.

“Do they treat people equally?" said Gottman. "Are they kind?”

How someone treats people who might be considered 'lower status' than them can be a good indicator of their personality.

The third positive to look out for is very simple: Is your date reliable?

Of course, many people lead a very busy and hectic life, and sometimes plans genuinely do fall through. But if someone is routinely cancelling at the last minute, or saying one thing but doing another, then that's not good.

On the other hand, if someone is consistent and reliable, that's a green flag, including being honest if they genuinely can't make it.

“Do they do what they say they’ll do?” Gottman explained, adding: "Reliability is a big deal."

Of course, this is all in hopes of eventually meeting 'the one'; however, the Gottmans say that is just a 'myth', as Dr Julie adds: "Every pairing of people, no matter how wonderful they are, no matter how much you love them, the two of you will always have perpetual problems between you.

"And those are based on either lifestyle preferences or personality differences, always. And at some point, those conflict."

She explains that no one is perfect and it is all about 'seeing each other as human beings', but our flaws can be seen as 'beautiful too', adding: "We don't have to be perfect to be loved."

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