A transgender woman has detailed the horrific conversion therapy she endured more than fifty years ago.
Carolyn Mercer, now 74, claims she was electrocuted while strapped to a chair in an NHS hospital when she was just a teenager.
As shockwaves ‘shot’ through Mercer’s body, she was forced to look at pictures of women that were projected onto the wall in front of her, a move Mercer said was ‘to try to make me associate pain with who I saw myself as being’.
Speaking frankly about her ‘barbaric’ ordeal to Metro, Mercer, who is from Lancashire, recalled: ‘I went to an NHS hospital, I was taken into a dark room and strapped to a wooden chair. Electrodes were soaked in saltwater and stuck to my arm.
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“Pictures of women were shone on the wall in front of me. Then randomly, they threw the switch. The pain shot through my body, my arm shot up in the air. This was repeated.”
Mercer also revealed she had attempted to take her own life shortly before being subjected to the vile practice aged just 17.
Thankfully, Mercer is thriving these days. She has a loving family and a successful career, but the road to finally living as her authentic self has been long and harrowing.
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At the age of three, Mercer remembers swapping clothes with her younger sister and going to bed that night ‘hoping someone could invent a brain transplant’.
Mercer admitted to the paper that members of the trans community simply were not spoken about back in the 1950s, and her first exposure to a trans person was when she read ‘a nasty piece in a Sunday paper’ at the age of 14.
The thought of having to live her life as a man left her with suicidal thoughts and despite how perfect her life looked from the outside - Mercer had a wife, two children and was the second-youngest headteacher in all of Britain - she was ‘falling apart’ inside.
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In the early 1990s, Mercer started taking hormones and told her children about her desire to transition, but even then, she faced setbacks.
After an article ‘outing’ Mercer was published in 1994, she was suspended from her job. But despite this, Mercer remained determined and by the 2000s, had completely finished her physical transformation.
She also warned Prime Minister Boris Johnson that he will be left with ‘blood on his hands’ after his government failed to include transgender people in its conversion therapy ban.
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"As well as being barbaric, conversion practice is responsible for people losing their lives," she said. "If this isn’t banned, there is blood on people’s hands – particularly the prime minister’s, and he needs to realise that.
"If there was a will, the Conservative government could work the complexities out easily. They don’t want to do it."
Speaking of the government's backtrack after excusing trans people in its ban of conversion therapy, a spokesperson said: "The Government has a proud record on LGBT rights, and the prime minister is committed to bringing forward legislation to ban conversion therapy.
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"Recognising the complexity of issues and need for further careful thought, we will carry out separate work to consider the issue of transgender conversion therapy further.
"This is a legally complex area and we have a responsibility to ensure unintended consequences are not written into legislation, particularly in the case of under 18s."
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence contact Mindline Trans+ on 0300 330 5468. The line is open 8pm–midnight Mondays and Fridays and is run by trans volunteers
Aisha Nozari