Kevin Smith has admitted he felt ‘okay with dying’ after suffering a ‘massive heart attack’ a few years ago, saying he walked away from the experience with a ‘better understanding’ of death.
Back in February 2018, Smith revealed he had suffered a heart attack after performing in Glendale, California.
The filmmaker was due to perform again that evening, but cancelled the gig after falling ill – later taking to social media to update fans about what had happened.
Tweeting a picture of himself from hospital, he wrote: "After the first show this evening, I had a massive heart attack.
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"The Doctor who saved my life told me I had 100 percent blockage of my LAD artery (aka 'the Widow-Maker'). If I hadn't canceled [the] show to go to the hospital, I would've died tonight. But for now, I'm still above ground!"
In a new interview with the Independent, Smith said he’s now a lot more comfortable with concept of dying, despite once being ‘terrified’ of it.
“I walked away from the heart attack with a better understanding of death,” he said.
“I used to be terrified of it, now I get it. It reminded me of high school. I loved high school. I never wanted to leave, but eventually they f***ing toss you out. You’ve got to enter the next stage.”
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As he lay on the operating table, Smith suddenly realised that he didn’t have anything to be scared of – having finally come to terms with ‘what’s next’, only to find he made it through in the end.
He continued: “It’s the most natural f***ing thing in the world.
“You show up, and you go. All those years I spent going, ‘No, I don’t want to die!’ That’s natural and healthy. No human being wants to die, but being terrified of it went away while I was laying on the table.
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“I became OK with my own death. I wasn’t emo about it, or a f***ing goth, but I was OK with dying. I was like, ‘You know what, I get it, and I look forward to what’s next.’
“And then the f***ing doctor saved my life, son of a bitch, so now I’m here making Clerks III.”
Appearing on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert a few months after the huge health scare, Smith explained how he initially thought he was 'too high' when he was struck down by the dangerous 'widowmaker' heart attack.
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"I honestly thought I was too high," he told the show's host.
"I had smoked a bunch of weed that day because I was doing the shows, then I smoked a joint right before the show and I got off stage and all of the sudden, I had a heart attack.
"I asked my doctor like after this was all done, I was like, 'I hate to ask this question, man, but did I have a heart attack because of the weed? Because I smoked a joint right before the show'."
Doctors had a surprisingly positive perspective, with Smith continuing: "No. In fact, quite the opposite. That weed saved your life.
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"He said, 'You kept calm...they told you [you] were going through stuff and you kept calm the whole time, so that joint saved your life'."
Jess Hardiman