Christmas is now fast approaching and for many married couples, 'tis also the season that ends in heartbreak and separation.
The new year might see us quit bad habits, ditch a few extra pounds and detox for a 'new year, new me'.
Indeed, it's a busy time of year for most of us, but for divorce lawyers, it's getting even more hectic as December through to January, aka 'divorce season', is already in full swing.
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Famous New York divorce attorney, James Sexton, has spilled the beans on the top reasons married couples end up in his office - and how you can avoid a brokenhearted end to 2024.
Speaking to the New York Post, Sexton, who often dishes out advice on his Instagram, said 56 percent of marriages end in the 'devastating process' of divorce while some 20 percent attempt to stay together 'for the kids' or 'because they don't want to give away half their stuff'.
That makes for a failure rate of a staggering 76 percent, so how can it be avoided?
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Here's Sexton's eight reasons couples turn to divorce and his advice to remedy them.
Complacency
Sexton said: "People get comfortable, and comfort becomes complacency.
"You stop doing the small things that made your partner feel special in the first place.”
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It's all about nurturing your partner with the little but thoughtful gestures.
Don't overlook the small things - think along the lines of making your loved one a coffee or cooking dinner.
Schedule sex and physical intimacy
It's a sure sign that you're on the road to divorce if you fail to step up or even schedule physical time together in the bedroom, Sexton says.
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The attorney said: "Sex is what differentiates a romantic relationship from every other type of relationship.
“Couples that stop prioritizing intimacy often feel like roommates.”
He advises planning time for physical connection, even if it feels a bit unsexy, as 'desire thrives on effort'.
Don't stay together for the kids
Sexton warns kid-centric marriages can often fall apart.
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He told the news outlet: "Your kids are going to leave one day. What’s left after that?”
Instead of staying together for the kids, prioritise your partnership which will, in turn, strengthen the family bond.
After all, 'happy parents make for happy kids', he added.
Avoid the 'social media trap'
Being glued to our phones and stuck in a cycle of trying to appear perfect online can damage our real-life connections, the lawyer warned.
Sexton said: "We’re performing our relationships instead of living them.
“Put the phone down, look your partner in the eye, and ask how their day was.”
Communication is key
Divorce doesn't just happen overnight, as Sexton said it's the little things that often snowball into a monster.
He said: "It’s never the big things; it’s the toothpaste cap, the socks on the floor, the dishes in the sink.”
Clear and kind communication is the antidote to this problem as Sexton advises couples to 'say what you feel before resentment takes root'.
Cheating is a symptom
Sexton explains cheating 'isn't the problem' but is actually 'a symptom of deeper issues'.
Although infidelity hurts, he says unfaithfulness is actually a sign that our partner's needs aren't being met and advises to improve on that all important communication before tearing up your vows.
Keep hobbies and friends
Identity loss is another compelling reason couples turn to the annulment papers.
Sexton explains: "When you lose yourself in a relationship, you lose the attraction that brought you together in the first place."
To mitigate this, he said to keep up your hobbies, friendships and the things that make you tick as 'you can't pour from an empty cup'.
Talk prenup
The lawyer said: "People think a prenup is unromantic, but it’s actually the opposite.
"It’s saying, ‘I trust you enough to talk about the hard stuff before it becomes a problem.’ ”
So there you have it, some words of wisdom from NYC's top divorce lawyer who might have just saved your marriage this Christmas.
Topics: Life, New York, Sex and Relationships
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