Dating experts have revealed the ‘superficial and irrelevant traits’ that some ‘delusional’ men fixate on when seeking out potential partners via matchmaking services.
Everyone has different expectations and non-negotiables when it comes to dating, right?
Some people are specifically interested in relationships with those whose interests align with their own, while others are after a particular look, hence the ever-popular ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ phrase.
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And while many are happy to scroll through Tinder, Bumble and OkCupid to find The One, others want a more personalized approach, opting instead to hire a matchmaker.
If you’re unfamiliar, a matchmaking service works to understand you as an individual and learn about your wants and desires before eventually setting you up with someone deemed compatible.
The most 'delusional' requests made in some men’s applications
According to Carly and Janis Spindel of Serious Matchmaking in New York City, they’ve been less than impressed with some ‘very specific’ criteria given to them by male clients in the past.
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“We just actually got a 17-paragraph list from a man that we were yelling at him on a Zoom, he was literally delusional with how ridiculously specific he was,” Janis recently told the Daily Mail.
“One client wanted a woman who lived in Paris because he was a Francophile and loved the romance of Paris,” added Carly.
The mother-daughter duo also said that they wished their clients would relax on their higher education requirements.
They claimed they think it's ‘irrelevant where the woman's college degree is from’, claiming: “When you're sixty plus and she's fifty plus, we question them if the institution of the degree is relevant.”
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Meanwhile, another matchmaking specialist named Blaine Anderson has revealed the one request which will cause her to reject a male client’s dating application.
“Men sometimes say stuff like ‘body count under 10’ on my matchmaking application. Bro… You think I would ask a woman that?,” the dating coach wrote via X, formerly known as Twitter.
“You think a woman would tell me that? You think a woman would answer honestly if she did tell me that?”
She concluded her statement with the crying-laughing Emoji and the acronym for ‘get the f**k out’
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Anderson has since opened up about her decision to reject people who are concerned with someone else’s past sex life, telling the Daily Mail: “The type of guy who thinks I’d ask a woman her body count isn’t someone I’d trust on dates.”
She also claimed she would probably turn away people who are ‘preoccupied with superficial or irrelevant traits’.
“If you're an overweight software engineer and you're only interested in fitness models, I probably can't help you,” the Texas-based guru added.
Can having a ‘type’ hold you back when it comes to dating successfully?
According to Betsy Chung, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Couple Skills Workbook, having a rigid set of criteria can actually cause you to ‘overlook someone who might be a good fit for you’.
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“When [you] meet someone who seems to fit every single characteristic that you are looking for, you want to make it work so badly that [you might] overvalue this person,” she explained to Women’s Health Magazine.
Chung claimed this can cause you to ‘behave less authentically to secure a date or relationship’ rather than ‘being true to who you are.’
“When you continue to fixate on certain characteristics, you lose these opportunities to get to know other people, and to understand what you need to feel good in a relationship,” the expert added.
Instead, Pia Holec, who serves as an expert psychologist on Lifetime’s Married At First Sight, advises you to try exposing yourself to ‘something new’ by dating outside of your usual requirements.
This way, you could find a partner who can ‘expose you to people who can help you become a better person.'
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life
Ella Scott